“We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who's right and who's wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, and all kinds of things that we don't like about our associates, or our society.
It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others. Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground”.
~Pema Chodron
I love this quote from Pema Chodron. Some of us love the holidays, but for many, the biggest source of holiday stress is family.
Fortunately, you have the power to change all that just by doing one thing and that would be simply changing your reaction.
Nothing can hurt you when you feel peaceful inside, and creating an inner peace that endures is not as hard as it sounds.
1. Believe you are loved
Understand that negative childhood experiences lead to feeling unloved. Holidays trigger those feelings. Look inside yourself for the truth. Don't let other people's opinions effect you. When you love yourself, it won't matter who else loves you.
2. Monitoring and changing you thoughts
Pay attention to your thoughts. Destructive thinking patterns are our worst enemy. I know it can be extremely difficult to focus on the good when unpleasant things are happening in your life, but when difficult thoughts come up, shift them. Think of something you love and focus on it. After awhile, you can train your subconscious mind to look at life differently. Pema Chödrön describes it as turning your thinking upside down.
3. Use suffering as medicine
I talk about this a lot, and I practice it in life. When I feel bad, I don't hide from it. If I am surrounded with negative energy, I dance with it.
If someone is trying to make me feel bad, I wish them compassion. When I first learned this technique, I was surprised how easy my heart responded to it.
Breathe in what is difficult to bear, pain, fear and just take it all in and acknowledge it, then breathe out relief. Actually, it is remarkably simple and just takes practice. Eventually I found that taking in the pain heightened my awareness of exactly where I was stuck.
If you want to learn more about spirituality when facing difficult times, I highly recommend Pema Chödrön's book “When Things Fall Apart. Pema is one of the most influential voices in contemporary spirituality, and became the first American woman to become a fully ordained Buddhist nun in Tibetan tradition.
On to food. As promised, here is the recipe for the most delicious vegan mushroom gravy I have ever had. Actually, I even like it better than traditional Thanksgiving gravy.
Hope you enjoy this mushroom gravy as much as I did. It also tastes delicious on this cauliflower mash. Don't miss any of Ordinary Vegan's free recipes by signing up here.
Recipe For Vegan Mushroom Gravy
- ½ cup vegetable broth for sautéing
- 3 cups low-sodium vegetable broth
- 1 cup chopped white onion
- 4 cloves garlic, chopped
- 3 cups of chopped mushrooms - any kind I used portabello, white & brown
- 1 tsp poultry seasoning *see note in summary
- 2 tbsp fresh thyme, finely chopped
- 2 tbsp fresh rosemary, finely chopped
- ¼ teaspoon salt
- ¼ teaspoon ground black pepper
- ¼ cup dry red wine
- 2 fresh sage leaves, chopped
- 3 tbsp reduced-sodium Tamari
- 3 tbsp nutritional yeast
- 2 tbsp whole-wheat flour (for gluten free gravy - use rice flour)
- ¼ tsp ground black pepper
- In a large sauce pan, heat ½ cup of vegetable broth.
- Add onion and mushrooms and saute three minutes.
- Add garlic and poultry seasoning and sauté until onion is translucent about another minute or two.
- Add red wine and cook one minute, stirring constantly. Stir in remaining 3 cups of broth and fresh herbs. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes.
- Meanwhile, in a small bowl, whisk together Tamari, nutritional yeast and flour to form a thick paste.
- Add mixture to pan, whisking constantly to make sure the paste dissolves. Bring to a boil and boil another minute, stirring constantly. Add salt, pepper and fresh sage.
- Adjust seasonings.
- If you prefer it thicker, thicken with flour or cornstarch. 1 tablespoon flour (or cornstarch) to 1 tablespoon of water to make a paste and add. Keep adding and whisking to desired thickness.
You can also puree this for a smoother gravy. Hope you enjoy it.
Loved it!! I used cornstarch instead of flour and I was out of nooch, I can only imagine how great it would be with it, next time!! 🙂
Lovely recipe and Pem’s words are perfect advice.
I’m adopted. Lived in an unhealthy home.
I’ve learned I am my family! I reinvented my life.
Best thing, if people are depressing and not supportive, is to stay away from them. We are not obligated to accept abuse even from family members. Happy Holidays.
Thanks for sharing Vicki – Sending you lots of compassion and congratulations on your journey. Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving
We have this gravy recipe ( our own but so close u wouldn’t know) every week at least twice, we luvs our roast dinners ere in rural zummerzet uk (vegan of coarse)
I could eat it every week too! It is so yummy isn’t it Patricia!
Can’t wait to try this! My husband and I are vegan mostly. Working on that . Vegetarian always!
We’re invited to a thanksgiving that is not vegan so this will be a perfect side to bring with our vegan mashed potatoes! Thank you so much!
Giving thanks for you! Happy Thanksgiving
What if you don’t like mushrooms? Can I make it and remove the mushrooms? Or should I look for another recipe?
Hi Elisabeth – if you don’t like mushrooms I don’t think this will work – I looked through my recipes and couldn’t come up with another one without mushrooms but you are not the only one so I will do some test recipes before xmas and see if I can come up with one. Thanks for being here and for being part of our healthy community!
Made this tonight. It is amazing. So delicious. Thanks so much for the recipe.
Thank you BD for the feedback – so happy you enjoyed it – and thanks for being part of our healthy community! Happy Holidays
“Store in a tight well fitted jar.” This should read “Store in a jar with a tight fitting lid.”
Thanks for catching that Di. I fixed it.
How long will this stay in frig? Can it be frozen? New to Vegan life and at 70 years old never learned to cook. Thanks.
Hi Vikki – Congratulations on your new vegan lifestyle. I am very excited for you. You are going to feel great. Since you don’t do a lot of cooking. Try to keep it simple – grains, legumes, vegetables, fruits and healthy fats like nuts, seeds and avocado for your main meals. I would try to eat 2 tablespoons of ground flaxseed or hemp seeds (or a combination of the two) everyday so you seize the day with lots of energy. The vegan mushroom gravy will last approximately three days in the refrigerator and you can freeze it up to 3 months. Good luck and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out. Happy holidays, Nancy
This recipe is our new favorite – it is perfect! We were making a vegan gravy prior that was similar for cauliflower steaks, but I really enjoyed the omission of oil and vegan butter, making it both healthier and easier to digest. What an amazing flavor. I used a blend of the recommended portobellos with oyster and brown beech.
Hi Dave – So happy you loved it and I love that mushroom combo too – I have never tried it over a cauliflower steak but what a great idea. Thanks for your feedback and for being part of our healthy community! Happy New Year
I just recently discovered your podcast and recipes. I made this gravy last night and it was the best that I have ever tasted!
Hi Sara – So happy you liked it and I agree – it is so yummy. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. Hope you have a wonderful day!
I just made this gravy… it was so very excellent, I will be adding it to my make often list. My kids just loved it too! Thanks so much Nancy, I can’t wait to try more recipes! 🙂
Thank you Sherry for the kind feedback ! So happy you enjoyed it. It is one of my favorite recipes – nancy
What can be used in place of red wine ?
Hi Dana – You can replace the wine with vegetable broth. Hope that helps and thanks for stopping by. Happy Holidays!
Thank you for your beautiful quote of Pema Chodron and YOUR words of advice as well. Approaching life from a perspective of compassion and kindness is the “easier, softer” way. Love your recipes, too, by the way!!!! Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Hi Lark – thank you so much for those kind words. I love Pema Chodron and her books have saved me many times. I so appreciate you stopping by, taking the time to write and I hope you have a wonderful holiday!
Nancy
Can I use a cashew cream to thicken instead of the flour?
Hi Jessica – I have never tried that but I don’t see why not. Cashews contain starch so they should thicken the gravy. Hope that helps. Have a nice day!