Do you ever feel caught between the person you want to be and how you really are?
Last week I was haunted by an old habit of mine. I was at a spa and fell in love with the spa shoes that were provided. Let me further explain this by saying, I have terrible problems with my feet and never can find anything that fits or feels comfortable. So I was quite surprised when I put on these cheap, rubber sandals, and they actually fit and looked great.
I asked the attendant if I could buy a pair and she told me they weren't for sale. I didn't think anything about it but when I went to leave, I put those rubber sandals in my purse, and took them home with me.
When I got home, I was so ashamed and embarrassed that I stole them and I ended up putting them back in my car, so I can return them at my next visit. It was a silly thing, but it did get me thinking about why I would take those shoes.
When I was young, I used to shoplift. Looking back on it, I know I was just totally acting out in a harmful way rather than feeling my feelings. Fortunately, this problem ended in my teens but acting out in unhealthy ways never ends. Interrupting and ending old habits takes bravery and practice.
Sometimes things that harm us like food, alcohol, smoking, drugs, stealing or lying are the things that we find the most comfort in. Of course, these cravings and acting out on them only end up hurting ourselves.
So how do we free ourselves from these miseries? Start with compassion… for yourself. Human frailty is beautiful. Most of the stuff you suffer from is not your fault. It doesn't have to be a blame game, but the truth is, the negative influences in our life growing up plays a large role in the unhealthy habits we have today.
The best way to refrain from these negative patterns is not to make your craving stronger by acting out. Every time you buy into it, the habit gets stronger. Stay present with your feelings and remember that no feeling is final.
Rewiring your mind will liberate you but it takes time. When a craving hits you, and before you act on it, spend 10 minutes asking yourself why you find comfort in it. The feeling can pass. It just takes practice and compassion for the most important person in the world – YOU. The happier and healthier person you are, the happier everyone in your life will be.
Speaking of human frailty, there is a new documentary series on HBO called “On Freddie Roach”. Just in case you don't know, Freddie Roach is the world's most famous boxing trainer, former fighter, and like Muhammed Ali is suffering from Parkinson's disease. Parkinson's disease is a disorder of the brain that leads to shaking, tremors and difficulty with coordination. There have been studies linking consumption of large amounts of dairy products to an increase of Parkinson's disease in men. Parkinson's disease has also been linked to boxing and blows to the head.
I bring this show up because it is an extremely inspiring story of someone who was physically and psychologically abused but somehow perseveres. There is no music, sub-titles or voice over just beautiful, painful raw emotion from a man who was pounded in the ring as a child, and by his father at home. Much like, Raging Bull or The Fighter, you don't have to love boxing to become emotionally vested in this show.
On to food, this week it is all about deserts. Unfortunately, my sugar craving is at an all time high, and I am on a non-stop quest to find the most delicious vegan deserts recipes. Today I made a vegan chocolate chip banana bread and it was very yummy. I topped it with my favorite dairy free ice-cream – Purely Decadent. They also make a gluten free, dairy free ice-cream. Never knew vegan deserts could taste so good.
Vegan Chocolate Chip Banana Bread
- ¾ Cup sugar
- ½ Cup Earth Balance vegan butter (I prefer Earth Balance)
- 3 ripe bananas, mashed (about 1 cups worth)
- 1 TBSP vanilla extract
- 1 Cup all-purpose flour
- ¾ Cup whole wheat flour
- ¼ Cup cocoa (unsweetened)
- ½ TSP salt
- ½ TSP baking soda
- ⅓ Cup coconut-flavored vegan yogurt or ⅓ cup soy or almond milk with 1 tsp vinegar
- ½ Cup vegan chocolate chips
- ¼ Cup chopped walnuts
- Preheat oven to 350F. Grease loaf pan with vegan butter and a dust of flour or canola spray. Set aside
- Cream together the sugar and margarine until fluffy. Add in mashed bananas and and vanilla extract and blend well.
- Whisk together flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt.
- Pour half of the flour mixture into the wet mixture and stir until combines.
- Add in the milk or yogurt mixture and combined. Add the remaining dry ingrediets and mix.
- Fold in the chocolate chips and walnuts. Add more milk if necessary but remember the batter should be thick.
- Spoon batter into the prepared loaf pan and bake for about one hour and 10 minutes.
- Top with Purely Decadent Dairy Free Ice Cream.
It’s funny how those bad habits can sneak up on you. I stopped eating red meat and pork a long time ago. But when I first became meat free, I would sometimes get cravings for a Big Mac. A Big Mac! of all things! Sometimes I would even go so far as to get in line at a fast food restaurant to order one. But then I would try to imagine what it would actually taste like in my mouth and YUCK! I just couldn’t do it.
Thanks for the recipe.
thanks for being so candid. It’s so true, bad habits are all around us, but with practice & a lot of compassion for ourselves we can do anything!!
thank you.
T
I made this tonight and it was awesome.. thank you 🙂