Recently, I heard a speaker give a compelling lecture about “emotional sobriety”. I have never heard that phrase before, and I was immensely intrigued.
Understanding emotional sobriety isn't difficult. Basically, if you build your whole life around being loved and accepted, you may need emotional sobriety. Ask yourself these questions. Do you need to validate what you are doing from someone else and not yourself? Do you have relationships or do you take hostages? When someone asks, “who are you?”, what would be your answer?
Often the answer is not who you are, but what you do. I know there have been many times in my life that I needed to be accepted by someone else to feel value, but now I am happy to say I have worked on that, and my center of gravity is no longer false. By the way, it isn't easy, and it won't happen overnight. Like everything, it takes practice. Here, are some things that worked for me.
1. Listen to what is most important to you (not others) and add your best self to it.
2. Instead of asking what you expect from life, ask what life expects from you.
3. Let go of your dependence on other people's reaction. If you have good news, savor it before sharing it with others.
4. Learn to lick your own wounds. Comfort yourself when you are hurt or disappointed.
5. Stop taking your partner, friends or family's behavior personally. Remember, everything they say and do is about themselves, not about you.
So how do you exist in this new world with this new set of rules?
When you put these paralyzing dependencies behind you, you get a glimmer of what real happiness is.
Remember, when you add more self to everything you do, it doesn't mean your selfish. It means you are thoroughly engaged in the process of being and becoming your authentic self.
When you live a life that is no longer ignoring your true gifts and talents, there is nothing more beautiful. Don't be afraid. It won't be long before others accept the new you, and love you more for it.
Now, on to food. Zucchinis are plentiful this time of year, so I decided to make a zucchini pasta. This dish is extremely light and flavorful and the avocado amps up the protein. Hope you enjoy this zucchini pasta with basil sauce as much as I did.
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Zucchini Pasta with Basil Sauce and Toasted Breadcrumbs
- 3 large zucchinis (green or yellow)
- 3 cloves garlic, chopped
- ¾ cup low-sodium vegetable broth
- ⅓ cup finely minced parsley leaves
- ½ cup whole wheat bread crumbs (I make my own, 2 slices whole wheat bread in food processor with some fresh chopped parsley approximately 2 tbsp)
- 2 shallots, chopped
- 2 tomatoes chopped
- 1 tbsp olive oil + ½ tsp
- 1 bunch of basil leaves
- ½ tsp red pepper flakes
- Fresh ground pepper & salt to taste
- 1 lemon, zested and juiced
- ½ pound whole-wheat linguini (optional)
- In a large pot, cook pasta "al dente" and drain. Also cook 1 or 2 minutes less than package instructions so it is "al dente"
- Meanwhile, slice off ends of zucchini and discard. Cut zucchini in half lengthwise. Using a mandoline or large cheese grater, or carefully with a sharp knife, slice zucchini into thin (about ⅛ inch ) slices trying to keep some skin on ribbons for color. Stack slices and if long, cut in half lengthwise. My zucchini's were on the smaller side so I didn't cut them. Reserve zucchini slices in a large bowl.
- Add half of the bunch of basil leaves, ½ cup vegetable broth, 2 tbsp lemon juice, 2 tsp lemon zest, 1 chopped garlic clove, salt, pepper & red pepper flakes to a food processor and blend to a thick soup consistency. Add more vegetable broth if needed. Set aside. (what you don't use can be saved for later to add to soups, pastas or spread on toasted bread )
- In a non-stick skillet, add /2 tsp olive oil heat until hot. Add bread crumbs and saute until brown & crunchy.
- In a pasta pot or large deep skillet, heat the olive oil over low-medium heat. Add 1-2 chopped garlic cloves, chopped tomatoes and shallots and cook until soft and translucent but not browned (about 2 minutes). Add ⅛ to ¼ cup vegetable broth (or more if needed depending on how many zucchini ribbons you have) Bring to boil, lower heat. Add 3 tbsp of basil sauce, zucchini ribbons and cook zucchini for approximately 3 minutes or less. You want it to stay somewhat firm and you don't want too much liquid so add veggie broth gradually. Add parsley, cooked fettuccini (if using), ¼ cup chopped basil (or more to taste) salt, pepper and toss to combine. I always add more red pepper flakes but I like things spicy. Serve with a big sprinkling of toasted bread crumbs on top for crunch, sliced avocado & fresh sliced tomatoes. Sprinkle avocado & tomatoes with bread crumbs.